Hi.
You remember the big black dog that ate my pepes? I was with her yesterday. Yes, it's not a male dog as I thought, it's female dog, named Lucky. And I spent the whole day with her. A whole day!
As I told you before, she's my professor's dog. And yesterday we had an excursion. I was conscious that there would be a possibility he would bring the dog and it made me worried. And he did bring the dog.
I have this fear of dog started when I was in elementary school. Almost everyday, in the afternoon, I went to my friend's house to play. Her neighbour had two big dogs, one black dog name Ringgo, and the other brown yellowish dog named Belly. Ringgo was okay, it didn't bark a lot and didn't go to people often. Belly was the opposite.
So, everytime I passed that house, I prayed that the dogs would be inside the house. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't. Usually they were in the yard when my time to go home. I often asked my friend to take me half way, because she went along better with dogs so she could protect me. But, one day, I was by myself and Belly was on the street. I prayed and I prayed that it would ignore me, but it didn't. It came close to me, barking, and I was freaked out. I walked faster, it did the same thing. Next thing I knew I was running and it ran after me. And at one point I jumped over sand pile and fell down and the dog got me. I didn't really remember if the dog bit me not, but the fear was so intense that I like lost half of my soul. I was so scared to death.
Since then, everytime a dog comes near me, I freaked out.
Here in forestry faculty in Goettingen, many people - students or lectures - bring dogs to campus, to class, to library, to their rooms. They say, especially in forestry faculty, it's normal thing to do that. It's in line with hunting tradition which involve dogs as companion.
Most of the time, I could manage not meeting them. But here in campus, it's impossible. Some occasions I am with my friends, so I would ask them to be my shield or whatever. But sometimes I met them when I was alone, and I always got nervous and afraid all of sudden. If I could avoid, for example going to another direction, I would do it. I don't care if it takes longer distance and time, as long as I don't meet the dog, fine with me. If the dog is leased, I feel safer. If the dog is on the lose, I'd be crazy.
If I remember correctly, yesterday was the third time I cried because of dog. First was when my friend and I went home from last lecture. We saw two dogs running on the park and when we passed, one big dog came to us and did dog stuffs. I held my friend tight and shivered. I yelled "heeeeelp" till the owner came. I cried a little, but manage to hide it.
You remember the big black dog that ate my pepes? I was with her yesterday. Yes, it's not a male dog as I thought, it's female dog, named Lucky. And I spent the whole day with her. A whole day!
As I told you before, she's my professor's dog. And yesterday we had an excursion. I was conscious that there would be a possibility he would bring the dog and it made me worried. And he did bring the dog.
I have this fear of dog started when I was in elementary school. Almost everyday, in the afternoon, I went to my friend's house to play. Her neighbour had two big dogs, one black dog name Ringgo, and the other brown yellowish dog named Belly. Ringgo was okay, it didn't bark a lot and didn't go to people often. Belly was the opposite.
So, everytime I passed that house, I prayed that the dogs would be inside the house. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't. Usually they were in the yard when my time to go home. I often asked my friend to take me half way, because she went along better with dogs so she could protect me. But, one day, I was by myself and Belly was on the street. I prayed and I prayed that it would ignore me, but it didn't. It came close to me, barking, and I was freaked out. I walked faster, it did the same thing. Next thing I knew I was running and it ran after me. And at one point I jumped over sand pile and fell down and the dog got me. I didn't really remember if the dog bit me not, but the fear was so intense that I like lost half of my soul. I was so scared to death.
Since then, everytime a dog comes near me, I freaked out.
Here in forestry faculty in Goettingen, many people - students or lectures - bring dogs to campus, to class, to library, to their rooms. They say, especially in forestry faculty, it's normal thing to do that. It's in line with hunting tradition which involve dogs as companion.
Most of the time, I could manage not meeting them. But here in campus, it's impossible. Some occasions I am with my friends, so I would ask them to be my shield or whatever. But sometimes I met them when I was alone, and I always got nervous and afraid all of sudden. If I could avoid, for example going to another direction, I would do it. I don't care if it takes longer distance and time, as long as I don't meet the dog, fine with me. If the dog is leased, I feel safer. If the dog is on the lose, I'd be crazy.
If I remember correctly, yesterday was the third time I cried because of dog. First was when my friend and I went home from last lecture. We saw two dogs running on the park and when we passed, one big dog came to us and did dog stuffs. I held my friend tight and shivered. I yelled "heeeeelp" till the owner came. I cried a little, but manage to hide it.
Second one was on May 7th. We had excursion and the meeting place was in the parking lot near building 4. I was with some friends. When we chatted, suddenly a big dog came and went to each one of us. When it came to me, the fear ate me alive. Moreover it sniffed me and like poked me. I held my friend, hid my face behind her back and trembled like earthquake. My eyes were teary, my nose was runny. I couldn't help it. I was crying like little girl.
My friends who didn't know I had such fear were surprised. How could I be afraid with dog? Chinese people ate dog, one of my friend said. It's so not the point, but I appreciated the will to help me overcome this fear. He then told story about his cousin who's afraid of chicken and he put bell on the chicken and so on. I was laughing and at the same time busy wiping my eyes and nose.
And the third time was yesterday. We were gathering in front of building one. And there it went, that big black dog, or Lucky, came and met everyone, litteraly. I stood behind my friend for protection yet it still came to me, and yes, I became that poor little girl with runny eyes and nose. My professor saw me and he was a bit surprised too. He asked why I was afraid. Was I afraid that the dog would bite me? She didn't know how to do it, he said. They had baby in their house and the baby played with the dog and everything was okay.
I know, I know. I understand that. It's just my silly fear of the creature that made me like this.
So he said, in the end of the excursion I would be friend with Lucky. It would be my therapy.
Okay.
Actually, Lucky was very friendly dog. She liked to play. She listened to orders and was nice to everyone. My friends really liked her. They played with her all the day during excursion.
But having her near me still gave me the jumpy heart or freezing moments. But, since I knew that there were people who could rescue me and of course the owner was nearby and kind-hearted, I felt a bit easier.
In the end of the excursion, my professor asked me whether I would want to touch her. Since he was so nice, I would. But he had to make his dog sitting down and he would guard on the side and kept her head in front - not to my direction - then, okay, I touched her. From behind, on her back, and very quick.
Well, the excursion was a success, and so was the therapy, he said.
Hmm...
At one point, it's a progress. Yes.
But I am not sure the next time I meet dog, I would be better. Hope so...
PS. Lucky likes hunting cat and afraid of rabbit.
